same old shit, different day .

i must say . every day is like the other . i have to change myself . can't go on like this any more . i have to find something i could live for , to study for . definitely spring is in my heart . too deeply . how could i study parasites when outside is sunny ? i think i have to lock myself into dark room - without internet of course - maybe then i will find myself enough strength to do something useful . not that i'm not doing anything useful , just i could do more . i believe in myself . or at least i believe that i believe . pathetic, isn't it ?
why couldn't i have interesting life ? why is everything the way it is ? why , why , why ? so many questions , so little answers .

so in love with myself , eternally .


K